Why do people have to be so darn peopley?

Recently my #1 darling daughter posted something on her Facebook page that has continued to bother me. It was a photo of a note written on a napkin to a waitress. While the writer expressed that the waitress had done an excellent job in providing service for him, he didn’t leave a monetary tip. Instead his tip was in the form of advice.

The advice went something like this:

  • You shouldn’t be working.
  • You should be at home cooking and cleaning for your husband and children.
  • Having a job undermines your husband and therefore, he is likely seeing other women on the side while you are working.

Seriously, who thinks like this and why? This is so rude. So arrogant.

I have some questions for this guy and probably a couple of tips.

  1. Do you have any idea what this woman’s family situation is? Do you even know if she is married and has kids?
  2. What if her husband demanded that she get a job?
  3. What if her husband is sick and can’t provide for their family?
  4. What if she is working to put him through college or medical school?
  5. What if her husband died and she is working to feed her children?
  6. What if she doesn’t even have a husband?
  7. What if she just enjoys working and serving others?
  8. What if this is her God given ministry?
  9. Why would you presume that her husband is so faithless?

OK, so those questions are just a bit of venting on my part really because people who think like that guy are confident that they are right and often they even truly believe that they are being loving and helpful. But it’s dangerous to presume that we know the inner workings of someone else’s life merely by the small bit of information we have. Yet, we do it far too often. It is also dangerous to judge a situation or someone’s motives based on one brief encounter, or one Facebook post, which might be what I’m doing here. 😬 Maybe the guy that wrote the letter truly did have pure motives and the best of intentions. Let’s just go with that and give him the benefit of the doubt because we also can’t judge him on one stand alone event or Facebook post.

Having worked in the restaurant industry years ago, there are a couple of things that I know. First, if you don’t tip well don’t expect any waiter or waitress to listen to any advice you might have for them.

For my Christian friends, if you don’t tip well…

…don’t expect your waiter to get excited about that “How to Become a Christian” tract you left on the table.

…don’t expect them to to be impressed that you went to church before you came to be waited on by them.

…don’t expect them to feel the least bit blessed when you tell them to have a blessed day.

…and don’t for a minute think that they will think that you are anything less than a hypocrite when you bow your head and pray before you meal and then leave them a $5 tip on a $125 bill.

In Illinois, the hourly minimum wage is $9.25 but employees that earn tips earn an hourly wage as low as $5.55 an hour. They are expected to make up the difference in tips. One could argue that this isn’t fair to either the waiter or the consumer but it is what it is, and not tipping well isn’t going to change it.

Waiting tables for a living is hard work and it’s a gamble. Sometimes you work really hard for practically no tip. Sometimes waiting on a table is a joy and super easy and they leave you a huge tip.

COVID season has been especially hard on our friends in the service industry, especially those who haven’t had any tables to wait on. Now is the time to be generous with your tips if you have the ability to do so.

We aren’t dining in restaurants these days but we are ordering carry outs and deliveries more often. In fact, we are probably eating more restaurant food than we have ever eaten in our life, and we are doing it primarily to help support our local small businesses. It’s been a lot of fun trying new places and new food.

Aside from that we’ve become more generous when tipping delivery drivers, the coffee barista, and even the guy who does some handyman work for us.

I don’t share that to brag. I only share it because sometimes we don’t realize the big impact we can have on people by doing small things. I just want to encourage you to consider how you might be able to bless someone today. Maybe you can’t afford to give a bigger tip, but you could send someone a thank you card or some words of encouragement. Maybe you could make someone a meal or do the shopping for someone who is quarantined because of COVID. Maybe you could rally your neighbors to take up a collection for a family in need. (One our neighbors did this recently and it was so amazing!)

Maybe you could start a neighborhood Facebook page and invite everyone to join. We had another neighbor that did this for our neighborhood and it has been fantastic! We are all getting to know each other, doing service projects together, and much more.

Basically, what I’m trying to say is if you’re going to be “so darned peopley” make sure your doing in a good, positive way please.

What ideas can you share with the rest of us? Maybe it’s something you’re noodling on but haven’t gotten around to trying yet. Drop me a comment below and telling what you’ve been doing or what you are thinking about doing.

And as always, if I’ve encouraged you, inspired you, made you laugh or even made you roll your eyes, I’d be honored and thrilled if you’d share my blog with your family and friends on your social media accounts. Also, follow me on Facebook and Instagram so we can have more of these conversations.

Also, click on the menu at the top of the page and go to my drawing page if you’re interested in my artwork!


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